et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.

Work: No work anymore. I gave up on Monday. And I feel… worse than earlier. It was good at the start, but I have nothing to do now. Maybe I’ll look for something else, but not in this week. 

Life: I had a fight with another friend. Another jerk. First he wanted to go for a beer, then he didn’t even care to tell me that he won’t go (I was waiting for him for 30 minutes at the place…) and at the end he gave my phone number to some old junkie and he’s calling me all the time, saying weird stuff (like some kind of pedo), begging me to meet with him. I have to turn my phone off when I go bed because he calls me all night. He was pushy since we met, even when I was P.’s girlfriend. He scares me. My ex-boyfriend said that he’ll beat the junkie up if he’ll even try to hurt me. But for now I have to change my number. Maybe he would fuck off if I ignore him. 

After all I’ve lost two friends recently. 

I’m going to visit my other friends tomorrow. They are couple, really cute one. The girl helped me much when I had problems with P. and the boy always had a free hug and joke to cheer me up. They were friends with P. before they met me (four years, I guess), but they are still in my life even after we broke up. But about the tomorrow meeting - P.’ll be there. It have been two weeks since I’ve seen him before. I’m all nervous about it. Maybe because I still…

Love: him.

Work - it’s easier than it was at the start. It makes me feel better after what has happened in my life recently. I have no time to think about my life. And it’s great, because my…

Life - … sucks. I have absolutely nothing to do on this bloody village. It rains all the time. But there are pluses. I make it to the Gdansk University. Social Work. It seems that shit happens…

Love - still exist. I mean… I still love him, but we’re not in relationship anymore. I had to break up with him. Why? He has never had time for me. Always in work, always tired. If you love someone you’re never too tired to see that person. I’m working as hard as he. Was I ever too tired? When he wanted me to come to his home after work, or to meet in town - was I complaining? NEVER! I was happy I could see him and relax in his arms after long day. I had enough of this… nothing. Seeing each other once in 2 weeks? We’ve been together only for 3 months! And that shitting about “I want this relationship to last for a long time, it’s serious for me, I care about you” and the killer one “I’ll never hurt you”, “I’ll never make you cry”. Go to hell motherfucker, I’ve got enough.

…

I want him back…

Work - my job is really hard. I have to work fast, but carefully. I have to work with so many different people. It’s not easy for me. I hate being among strangers. But I have free food all the time, everyone is nice and helpful. I’m learning a lot.

Life - I moved to new house week ago. It’s great, so big. My room is big too. I have too little furniture. It looks empty now. But I’m going to buy some shelfs tommorow. I met my old friend yesterday. I had no idea he was living in the same village! We are going to go to the woods for a walk today. 

Love - now, when I’m living so far away from city, have work and things to do at home, I can’t see my boyfriend as often as I used to. He’s got birthday in 3 days. I have to buy him something. I have no idea what. D: He got me a cup which changes color from black (it says: “You know what?”) to white (“I love you!”) when it’s filled with hot water. That was cute. :D